And “Ed World” slowly begins to get a crack

Some babies sleep all the time and love their bouncer.  G. was NOT one of those babies!  I would fondly refer to him as my “high maintenance little man”.  He would refuse to be put down; only sleep on me; refuse to go to anyone other his daddy, big sis, or me; and often insisted that we stand and hold him instead of sit and hold him.  I think he was older than four months old before both Ed and I got to sit down to eat a meal at the same time, sans baby.

By time G. was six months, I had decided that I wanted another baby, but there was NO way that I was going to wait until he was easier and then start all over again.  When I was done with this stage, I wanted to be DONE!  Anyway, it’s not like I was a Spring chick and I definitely wasn’t getting any younger.  We decided to start trying for baby#2.

About 2 1/2 months later, I ended my shift on the Paramedic unit at 7am, rolled up my sleeping bag, put it in my locker, probably forgot and left my gear on the unit, and left the fire station bound for vacation at the beach.  I was to return to duty in a week and a half, but as it turns out that was not meant to be.

The second day at the beach, I began to feel as if I had to pull myself up the stairs in the condo we had rented.  I worked myself up to being able to mention my concerns to Ed, but as he could not see me having any problems, he blew me off.

The next morning I went out to get donuts from The Fractured Prune.(This little aside is not MS related, but I must say that some things just restore your faith on the kindness of strangers, and this trip was one of them.   When I got to the store, I went in, got my free sample, YUM, and picked out my dozen donuts.  Only then did I notice the cash only sign.  Not only did I not have any cash on me, but I also hadn’t brought my cell phone to call Ed and tell him to bring me cash.  As I told the store keeper that I would have to come back, she told me to just take them and come back and pay her later.  Who does that in today’s day and age?  I thanked her profusely and made sure to come back as soon as we could.  I hope this aside wasn’t to long for you, but I think we all need a feel good story every now and then.) Once I got back to our building and was on my way back up the elevator, I suddenly felt an  urgent need to pee.  Funny, I hadn’t felt like I needed to go to the bathroom a minute ago.  Well I started to do the well known “PeePee dance,” but it was not to be.  I opened the condo door, threw the donuts on the table, opened the bathroom door, and I lost it.  Somehow I managed to escape without anyone noticing what happened, but I was starting to get scared.  I sneaked off to the drug store and bought some Depends, not something I ever thought I would be doing at age 34, and refused to go anywhere that would leave me out of sight of a bathroom.  This sudden urgency was not a one time thing.

Meanwhile, I started to feel like I was limping and dragging my right foot, but I was the only one who could tell.  It just kept getting worse, and two days later, I told Ed that we needed to find internet access so I could contact my neurologist.  Sitting in a local McDonalds, I called the neurologist’s secretary.  She told me that there was nothing they could do for me there, and that I would have to wait about FOUR MONTHS for an appointment.  Since I had not been into the office in four years, they were planning to treat me as a new patient, essentially penalizing me for not having relapses.  After arguing with her for a while, she told me to call her when we got back in the area.

I then told Ed that I should call work and tell them I wouldn’t be in for my next shift.  He looked up in complete surprise and said “Is it that bad”.  I said “Yes it’s that bad! Why do you think I’m doing all this?”.  He truly had no clue what was really going on.  I guess that’s part of the unfairness of MS, huh?  It’s a silent disease that only the sufferer can hear or truly know.

The next day while shopping, my walking got bad enough that I said I was done.  My family could finally see the limp, and I know longer felt safe driving a car.  I, who would never go to the ER unless I was the delivering paramedic, or I had an open, compound, displaced fracture of the wrist without a palpable pulse, decided it was time to go to an ER.  We found the closest hospital, and off we went.  The ER was almost empty, so we were seen fairly quickly.  In triage, I explained my symptoms and history, and also mentioned that I might be pregnant since we had been trying.  They moved me to a room and started giving me a dose of steroids.  Then the doctor returned to tell me that indeed I was pregnant.  What should have been some of the happiest words I could have heard were about to turn my life into a nightmare.  That’s a story for next time.



  1. herrad said,

    February 17, 2010 at 10:34 am

    Hi Debbie,
    Thanks for sharing your story, it is extremely well written, I felt you were talking to me.
    What turbulent times, what a rollercoaster you were on.
    Have a

  2. herrad said,

    February 17, 2010 at 10:35 am

    good day.
    Keep warm and positive.

  3. February 20, 2010 at 4:50 am

    […] Treatments) Tags: Diagnosis, Dr appointments, Family, fatigue, numbness, Relapse, Treatments As soon as we returned from the ocean I called my neurologist’s office and spoke to his secretary again. Not only did she reiterate […]

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